Monday, July 5, 2010

Butts, boobs, and nonmonogamy

Nonmonogamy has been the recent topic of a couple blogs I read - Craig's "New Relationship Energy" and "Nonmonogamous Relationships"  and Erica's "In a perfect world...".  I recently read a book called “Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” - it's available on Amazon.  If you're interested in any style of open relationship, this is a great book to start with.

For background, my husband and I have an open, or nonmonogamous, marriage.  Our specific rules are too complicated to explain here, but  I go to spanking parties by myself, with his encouragement and support.  I have meaningful relationships outside my marriage.  For us, this has been a wonderful thing, allowing us to grow in ways we wouldn't otherwise be able to explore.

Occasionally, our relationship causes some unusual moments with vanilla friends.  For example, this weekend we were playing the Battlestar Galactica boardgame with another couple.  The game was moving slowly and I was exchanging text messages with Craig when he sends me this thoughtful picture:

Hi (!) Lizzie!
Now, I'd gotten the picture on my iPhone, but it was sideways.  When I turned my phone sideways, the iPhone helpfully rotates the picture, so I turned the phone again and again trying to get it to stop.  This naturally drew the attention of the others at the table.  When I explained the problem, my husband held out his hand for the phone and I gave it to him.   He promptly started laughing and said, "He drew you a butt!"

Naturally, the others at the table needed to see the picture, which prompted an argument over whether the drawing was a butt or a set of boobs.  My husband maintained his original position, saying "Craig's a spanko.  He sent her a butt because he likes her butt."

True enough, I suppose, but slightly awkward.  Of course, when I mentioned the raging argument to Craig, his first question was "What did you say when they asked why some random guy was sending you a picture of a butt?"  We didn't say anything, because they didn't ask.  My husband's simple acceptance of my relationship with Craig is a wonderful even wards off awkward questions!


  1. That's a very wonderful blog. Thanks for sharing. I'm pleased to have made an entry all my own!



  2. But Craig, is it a butt or is it handcuffs?

    Thanks for this story, Lizzie-- it made me start my day with a laugh!

  3. A butt. Most definitely a butt.

  4. That is a story for the books! I love it. Damn, I love our scene.

    Ah, those poor provincial thinkers... they don't know what they're missin'.

    Thanks for the shout-out! :-)